50 Shades of Weird!

Weird is the new brilliant.

I’m reading the very weird “Fifty Shades of Grey”. If you don’t know what that is and haven’t heard of it yet, you have either been living under a rock or have just landed from some other planet. Or, well... you are just weird!

Ok, confession time. This much-hyped, totally overrated, erotic romance full of “kinky f***ery” and BDSM elements? Well, I’m on the last part of the trilogy :l 

Fine, go ahead - Judge me. I don’t particularly like it, but I’m still reading it. I mean I even know how it will end. And there is really no plot except all the heavy duty sex. And yet, I’m reading this weird set of books. Sometimes I really feel I read books compulsively. If I have it, I must read it. Even if it’s boring or bad. I don’t think I have ever left a book halfway. Oh wait! I have. ‘My Name is Red’ by Orhan Pamuk. But I’m hoping to finish it one day soon. Maybe after Fifty Shades. If I can go through 3 books of Grey, then I can definitely go back to Red!

Yoghurt, Dill & Wasabi Dip with "The Descendants"

What happens when Hot meets Sweet?? When Spicy meets Soothing? When Sizzling meets Tranquil? Two things – My Yoghurt, Dill & Wasabi dip; and The Descendants. 

Ok, I know I have done this Film and Food analogy before... but what can I say? Maybe it’s just my thing :) So here I go again...

The Descendants – I loved this movie. Not in a “this is the best film ever made” way, but more in a “what a lovely film” kinda way. So while it may not boast of great cinematic technique or path-breaking content, it did leave me with a warm, fuzzy feeling at the end of it. Now that should definitely count for something. 

Spring Onion Chutney

We eat Idlis four times a week. Sometimes it’s idli and uttapam. But mostly, it’s just Idlis. And before you jump to conclusions about this being a byproduct of my South-Indian lineage, let me enlighten you. This is all Sid’s doing. Yes the Punjabi boy loves idlis and absolutely cannot do without them. His face lights up every time I tell him we are having idlis for breakfast… and yes, that’s almost 4 times a week!

What did the Coconut say to the straw?

 

Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation

Q: Why did the coconut stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because he ran out of juice!

Q - What did the Hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A - Hold on to your nuts! This is no ordinary B*** J**!!

Now I know this is a highly inappropriate way of starting a blog post, especially one which is about my Mom’s trademark recipe…  but when it comes to coconuts, I cannot help it! They are the butt of so many jokes. A Mallu friend of mine was called Thenga (Coconut in Tamil) by my whole family for years; Coconut Oil and its diligent application by South-Indians another one of those things that lends itself to jokes galore; And what with it being a nut and a fruit, cracks abound!

Avocado Adventures

When you are a food blogger, people assume that you cook with fancy ingredients every day. And if you burst that bubble and admit that you just love cooking – and not necessarily exotic dishes, then they are so disappointed that you feel like you have let them down. So to make them feel better (and to prove to yourself that you are indeed a true foodie) you start rattling off words like porcini, Arborio rice, thyme, wasabi, emmental cheese, zucchini, asparagus, artichokes and the like in your head! Never mind that these are things that the average Indian has probably never heard of, forget tasted or cooked with. But you being a true gourmand have to have cooked with these strange-sounding and unfamiliar-therefore-gotta-be-delicious ingredients.

Back in Action with Mom's Fiery Hot 'Korivi Kaaram'

What is it about Birthday months? I know it’s not just me… there are blogs, groups on Facebook and many gazillion articles/posts dedicated to people who hate their Birthdays. Ok, I just stumbled across a website for people with Schizoaffective Disorder and guess what? A lot of them seem to hate their Birthdays! Hmmm… So without further drama, I just hope this Birthday comes and goes by in a rush without me having the time to sit and sulk and agonize over all that I have and haven’t done in the last year. I do enough agonizing on a daily basis anyway. So please God, cut me some slack here. I don’t want a birthday trip to Goa, or new clothes, or a birthday cake or any expensive gift. I just want to have a good day. A normal, simple, good day. Not an anti-climactic Birthday. I’m not saying this for my sake; oh I positively revel in depression and love wallowing in self-pity and crying copious amounts of tears… Nothing like a good weep to make you feel better. But I so don’t want the people I love trying hard to make this day special and then discovering all their efforts to cheer me up have been in vain… That’s not fair.

So God? One good uneventful day? Please?

First Anniversary, Fifty Posts and Film Food

I toyed with various beginnings for this blog post...

Do I go with the cliches and say "I cannot believe it's been one year!"?
Or do I start modestly - "I'm so grateful to everyone for all the love and support and encouragement..."?
Maybe I should go for cheeful and chirpy - "Yaaaayyy! 50 posts and 1 year!!! How cool is that??!"

Nuh-uh. Too many problems.
Option 1 - It IS a cliche.
Option 2 - Modesty has never been my thing, I would rather gag and die.
Option 3 - I sound like a teenager on crack... not cool!

So I decided to give in to my inner demon -

"Mere paas naukri nahi hai, gaadi nahin hai, BlackBerry nahin hai, maa bhi nahin hai (oho, you equally filmy person! She is in Maldives)... Lekin mere paas ye Blog hai!"

For the benefit of those unfamiliar with Bollywood, I have just committed blasphemy in the eyes of all Amitabh Bacchan and Deewaar fans:



So... now that I have established my filminess, let me explain myself. For me, this last year has been a roller-coaster ride. More so than the usual pile of shit that life throws at all of us every year, trust me! And The Weekend Epicurean has been my source of sustenance, my sanity in all the insanity, my venting space, my letting-go-of-mad space and my window to a world of possibility. Actually scratch that. My window to a world where doing nothing "worthwhile" and yet being at peace is possible.

A trio of heat - Red Hot Delights!!

Remember those Red Chillies I blogged about some time ago? Finally, after procrastinating for more than a month, I'm finally posting three hot, hot, hot dishes that the chillies found themselves in...

I have blogged about my favorite food shows on TV earlier and Kylie Kwong being one of them. So the first dish is inspired by her easy Chinese cooking methods and is a Spicy Cottage Cheese & Vegetable Stir Fry.

Ingredients:

Paneer - 250 gms

Spring Onions - 2 to 3

Capsicum - 1 small

Red Chillies - 2

Garlic - 3 cloves

Ginger - 1/2 inch

Peanut Oil - 1 tbsp

Salt

Pepper

Soy Sauce - 1/2 tsp

Balsamic Vinegar - 1/2 tsp

Roasted Peanuts - 5

Julienne the ginger thinly and finely chop the garlic. Heat oil in a wok or kadhai and fry the ginger and garlic. Now add cubes of the paneer/cottage cheese, 2 spring onions, sliced capsicum and 1 red chilli sliced diagonally into small pieces. Reserve one spring onion and one chilli for garnishing.

Add the salt, pepper, vinegar and soy sauce and toss the vegetables. Add the roasted peanuts right at the end and give it a stir.

Cottage Cheese & Vegetable stir fry

Cut one spring onion lengthwise and finely slice it into strips, chop a red chilli into thin pieces an garnish the stir fry with these. Serve hot with rice or noodles.

Paneer


Chinese Pickled Red Chillies

I absolutely love Chinese pickles. I have often pickled carrots, onions and cucumbers and stored them in glass jars in the refrigerator. And these chillies seemed just right for dunking into some Chinese sauces and spices and preserved for everyday use. It is a very simple recipe and the chillies are still going strong :) which means they will keep for about a month in the fridge.

Ingredients:

Fresh Red Chillies - 7 to 8 chopped diagonally into thin 1 inch pieces
Ginger - 2 inch piece - sliced into small thin pieces
Light Soy - 10 tbsp
Dark Soy - 5 tbsp
Vinegar - 12 tbsp
Sugar - 1 tbsp
Salt - 1 tsp
Schezwan peppercorns - 1/2 tsp - roasted and ground
Sesame seeds - 1 tsp

Spicy Red Chilli Pickle

Mix all the ingredients together in an air-tight glass jar. Close the lid, give it a good shake and refrigerate for 2-3 days before using.

You can adjust the quantities of the sauces as per your taste. The sweet, sour and spicy pickled chillies go amazingly well with sandwiches, rotis, rice, rolls, and just about anything!


Chilli-Garlic Rub

The third recipe I concocted with the red chillies is a very versatile rub that can be used in a variety of dishes as a sauce, curry paste or just a marinade. I used it as a rub to grill some chicken pieces and it added a lovely, unique kick to them.

Chilli Garlic Rub

Ingredients:

Fresh Red Chillies - 8
Garlic cloves - 10
Olive oil - 1 tbsp
Salt - 1/2 tsp
Cloves - 2
Cinnamon - 1/2 inch stick
Peppercorns - 4
Star anise - 1
A dash of red rum

Grind all the above ingredients together to make a paste and use as desired. The rum adds a sweet note and if you are using the rub to roast or grill some chicken, it will give a nice glaze to the dish.

Whew! So that's how spicy my last month was! :) I also got some lovely suggestions from friends. So here are some more recipe ideas:

Ritu - Red chilli, tomato and honey paste to grill fish/chicken
Thara - 125 gms red chillies, 20 garlic cloves, 1tbsp cumin seed, (olive) oil 3 tbsp, salt to taste.
Grind all but oil with little water to fine paste. Heat oil, on medium heat, saute chutney gently for 5-7 mins. Remove from heat, cool, store. Lasts several days
Arundati - Really Hot Red Chilli Pickle

Cucumber Chutney

As a kid, I remember us having at least 2 to 3 different types of chutneys or 'pachadis' at every meal. And the chutneys were often ingenious like the ones made out of gourd skin, or banana peels, and with tender shallots. While my Mom's wide variety of Mango chutneys and the coconut and tomato chutney were the biggest hits, one of my favorites was the sweet and spicy Cucumber chutney.

Now with the rains here, I barely get good quality fresh vegetables for my daily dose of salad. The carrots look emaciated and the greens are muddy. All I end up with is cucumbers. So I decided to try and recreate the cucumber chutney of my childhood from memory.

Ingredients:

Cucumber - 1 large
Tamarind juice - 1 tbsp
Raw rice - 1 tbsp
Mustard seeds - 1 tsp
Urad dal - 1 tsp
Channa dal - 1 tsp
Whole Red chillies - 2
Salt - 1/2 tsp
Sugar/Jaggery - as desired
Asafoetida - a pinch
Oil - 1 tbsp

Cut the cucumber into small pieces. You can peel it if you wish, but it tastes good unpeeled too. Just make sure the cucumber isn't bitter. Mix it with the tamarind pulp/juice and some salt.

Heat the oil in a tempering kadhai, add the asafoetida, red chillies, urad dal, channa dal, mustard seeds and raw rice. When they begin to splutter, remove from flame and cool. Transfer this tempering to the mixer and grind it coarsely with a little water if needed. Mix in with the cucumbers and add salt. I like my chutney to have a hint of sweetness, so i usually add some jaggery or half a teaspoon of sugar. But you can skip that and keep it just spicy.

The way I like it :

I personally think it tastes great as an accompaniment with dal-rice or curd rice. But you can serve it with rotis too as a salad or as pickled vegetables. It keeps in the fridge for 2-3 days.

Tomato Khajuri Khatta - Tomato & Date Relish

No wedding, festival or function in Orissa is complete without Tomato Khajuri Khatta. It is a typical Oriya chutney that is primarily sweet and a little tangy. As kids we used to have it with dal-rice, pulao, dosa, pakhala... jus about anything! But it has been years since I have had this now. My mom occasionally makes it, but since I get to meet my mom so rarely, tomato khatta has also become a rarity.

Now with some free time in hand, and lots of good quality Omani dates in the freezer, I decided to try and whip up some of this delicious relish.

Ingredients:

Ripe Tomatoes - 1/2 kg
Seedless Dates - 15 to 18
Jaggery - 1 tbsp
Salt - 1 tsp
*Jeera-lanka powder - 1/2 tsp
Green Chillies - 3
Turmeric Powder - 1/2 tsp
Ginger paste - 1/4 tsp

Tempering:
Oil - 2 tbsp
*Pancha Phutana (Panch Phoran)
Bay leaf - 2

The most quintessentially Oriya ingredients about this recipe are the Pancha Phutana and the Jeera Lanka powder. You can get ready-made Panch Phoran packets at any grocery store. But if you don't, just add equal quantities of cumin seeds (jeera), mustard seeds (rai), fennel seeds (saunf), fenugreek seeds (methi) and onion seeds (kalonji).

For the Jeera-Lanka powder, dry roast 1 tsp cumin seeds with 3 dried whole red chillies and then grind them to a coarse powder is the mixer.

This recipe works best with desi tomatoes which are more on the sour side. But you can use any ordinary, firm tomatoes too.

Quarter the tomatoes and slit the green chillies.
In a large heavy-bottomed pan heat the oil and splutter the Panch Phoran. Add the bay leaves. When the seeds start crackling, add the slit green chillies and ginger paste. Stir well. Now add the chopped tomatoes, dates, turmeric powder, jaggery, salt and jeera-lanka powder. Mix all the ingredients properly and pour in 1 cup of water. Cover and let cook for 15min. If you are not using a non-stick pan, then keep stirring in between to make sure the Khatta doesnt stick to the bottom of the vessel.

When the whole dish has turned into a mushy, chutney-like consistency and the water has evaporated, turn off the gas. Serve hot with rice and dal or curd rice. You can also bottle it and refrigerate it for up to a week. Tastes equally delicious when cold!


This recipe is my entry to Priya’s  Big Chutney Chow Down. Do check it out for a treasure trove of dips, chutneys, relishes and the like.